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  Click here to go to the first Trove Team post in this thread.   Thread: Complaints [Satire]

  1. #1
    Senior Member Milambit's Avatar
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    Complaints [Satire]

    Okay, so like everyone knows this game isn't good enough. So I've made this list of all the things to make Trove an actually good game rather than a sucky game.


    1. PVP! I don't care if it unbalances everyone! I want to PWN n00bz!!!
    2. There are too many mounts! I want to collect alllllll the mounts, but I want them all to be different! Everything seems to follow a theme, I want it all to be random like spiders and rideable penguins! And new skeleton models for EVERY SINGLE MOUNT EVARRRRRR!!! even if it costs more than the U.S. military budget, I want moar mounts! But not any more of the same kind of mount, I mean they're all animals and stuff, I want to ride not-alive-things like papayas too! FULLY ANIMATED!!!
    3. This game isn't like minecraft enough! You should have to starve to death and lose all your stuff when you die! So it needs more blockiness and less voxel-ness!!!
    4. This game is too blocky! It needs to be moar leik teh eldur skrullz skahhreeeem with trolls and stuff and mountains and intense high resolution graphics that need 3gb of Vram to run!
    5. This game is too resource intensive! My pentium III and Voodoo grafx can't keep up! I keep getting the error of OpenGL!!! Make the game Direct X 8.1 so I can play it for once!!!
    6. All the mobs are the same! I mean between the skeleton, the firefly, and the punchbot they all do the exact same thing: attack you. Why do they all attack you? They should all be nice and stuff and all replaced with bunny rabbits. BUT I WANT PVP where it's survival of the prick-est!
    7. I made two items for the game. A single line that's 37 voxels long with one color, and it's a hat. Then I made another item utilizing every color and pigment of a rainbow which can be used as a plumber's snake. Why aren't they accepted yet?
    8. Not enough historical battles! I want things like samurais and ninjas fighting eachother next to pirates and stauffs! Leik, where's the historical realism?
    9. We need a new playable class: ROMANS. Their main attack is talking loudly and waving their arms around with the sound effect of "Bobbity boopy!" Their main weapon is Spaghetti/pasta which can only be thrown at OTHER PLAYERS BECAUSE I WANT PVP!!!!!!!.
    Oh, and can I get a free key you guys? I love this game so much but I've never played it before but I'm a streamer and I want to play it SOOOOOOOO BAD!




    /endsatire



    (Don't take offense to this. Srsly. It's all made in good fun, because I miss these kinds of posts from the Reddit )
    "to be neutral, to be passive in a situation is to collaborate with whatever is going on." - Howard Zinn


    ...This is some music I made...

    Little boxes on the hillside, / Little boxes made of ticky-tacky,
    Little boxes on the hillside...
    Little boxes, all the same...

    Milambit23/Lykos23/Milambit - That guy what once roamed the Trove Creations Subreddit
    kak Быль Брat

  2. #2
    Senior Member Stedms's Avatar
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    Hey, man hey, hey, listen. Pvp is for scrubs you know? Too op, too op.

    Hey, non alive things? Zombie corgi and skully eh? EH? And plus if we don't get more mounts how am I supposed to make my zoo???

    HEY, it has ALL the blocks, you can't just be saying that it doesn't have the blocks. And the starving, you basically already eat with potions, it's like ovaltine or something.

    Hey, why you be flip flopping. First it needs more blocks and now it needs less. I mean, hey, listen, you don't want this, trust me.

    Direct X, who needs Direct X?

    I can't argue with this, they all do attack you after all. Maybe something that tries to hug you? Idk just an idea.

    Well, they're just bad, bad you hear me!?!?!? (plus you probably should convert using the devtool instead of just renaming the extension)

    We do need more realism like samurai's fighting pirates, I mean who doesn't remember the great pirate samurai war of 1912?

    That class would be too op, I mean, talking is dangerous, who talks anyway?

    NO KEYS FOR YOU.
    “Out of all the things I have lost, I miss my mind the most.”― Mark Twain



  3. #3
    Senior Member Milambit's Avatar
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    Oh, okay. I see how it is. You must be like, The Torch, from the fantastic four or somethin' 'cause all I see is you sayin like... "Flame On" and stuff.

    If it's a flame war you want, a flame war you will get; just like the great Pirate Samurai Dinosaur Laser fight of 1912!! We'll settle this... On the ball court!

    /endEdAtlin'sVoice

  4. #4
    Senior Member Stedms's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Milambit View Post
    Oh, okay. I see how it is. You must be like, The Torch, from the fantastic four or somethin' 'cause all I see is you sayin like... "Flame On" and stuff.

    If it's a flame war you want, a flame war you will get; just like the great Pirate Samurai Dinosaur Laser fight of 1912!! We'll settle this... On the ball court!

    /endEdAtlin'sVoice
    Don't even bring the great Pirate Samurai Dinosaur Laser fight of 1912 into this your wolf.

    Only a dragon/elf even remembers how that fight went don't... I still have nightmares of T-Rexes with their little arms with little laser pistols "pew pew pewing" constantly up into the sky as I watched onlooking in horror at the extinction of their race :C
    “Out of all the things I have lost, I miss my mind the most.”― Mark Twain



  5. #5
    Senior Member Milambit's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Stedms View Post
    Don't even bring the great Pirate Samurai Dinosaur Laser fight of 1912 into this your wolf.

    Only a dragon/elf even remembers how that fight went don't... I still have nightmares of T-Rexes with their little arms with little laser pistols "pew pew pewing" constantly up into the sky as I watched onlooking in horror at the extinction of their race :C
    And yet you did nothing to stop it... To think it all started when a Stegasaurus called for hi-fives... Then Tyrannesaurus saw it and got **** because his tiny wrists caused his hi-five to miss and he was like "**** this!" You knew it would happen! YOU KNEW!!! D:
    "to be neutral, to be passive in a situation is to collaborate with whatever is going on." - Howard Zinn


    ...This is some music I made...

    Little boxes on the hillside, / Little boxes made of ticky-tacky,
    Little boxes on the hillside...
    Little boxes, all the same...

    Milambit23/Lykos23/Milambit - That guy what once roamed the Trove Creations Subreddit
    kak Быль Брat

  6. #6
    Senior Member Stedms's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Milambit View Post
    And yet you did nothing to stop it... To think it all started when a Stegasaurus called for hi-fives... Then Tyrannesaurus saw it and got **** because his tiny wrists caused his hi-five to miss and he was like "**** this!" You knew it would happen! YOU KNEW!!! D:
    If the dragon elfs stopped every single extinction do you know how many animals would still be around, too many, too many is the answer.

    You can't expect us to want to share our treasure and riches with even more lesser beings, I mean, I'm being totally reasonable here right?
    “Out of all the things I have lost, I miss my mind the most.”― Mark Twain



  7. #7
    Senior Member Milambit's Avatar
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    Let me read to you a poem written during the GREAT SAMURAI PIRATE DINOSAUR LASER FIGHT of 1912... AHEM!!(z)

    "First they came for the T-Rexes, but I did not speak out because I was a dragon and not a T-rex.
    Next they came for the samurai, but I did not speak out because I was not even Japanese.
    NEXT they came for the pirates, but I did not speak out because while I stole all my treasure, I did not wear an eyepatch (except on halloween).
    THEN THEY CAME FOR ME! and there was no one left to speak out for me!" - Some dead elf-dragon-guy who got caught up in the crossfire.
    "to be neutral, to be passive in a situation is to collaborate with whatever is going on." - Howard Zinn


    ...This is some music I made...

    Little boxes on the hillside, / Little boxes made of ticky-tacky,
    Little boxes on the hillside...
    Little boxes, all the same...

    Milambit23/Lykos23/Milambit - That guy what once roamed the Trove Creations Subreddit
    kak Быль Брat

  8. #8
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    Wait, so let me get this straight. You are complaining about a game you haven't even played yet? Then at the ending you ask for a Key? Judging by your "demands", I would guess that you are the type of person that plays endless COD. If this is all a joke as you stated in the bottom, then I can assume you don't really want a key.

  9. #9
    Senior Member Milambit's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dex3700 View Post
    Wait, so let me get this straight. You are complaining about a game you haven't even played yet? Then at the ending you ask for a Key? Judging by your "demands", I would guess that you are the type of person that plays endless COD. If this is all a joke as you stated in the bottom, then I can assume you don't really want a key.
    Ya got me. CoD ghosts is the best game ever with like almost 50 people online at all times ;/

    But really, Trove is the greatest game; and I'm the one who normally gives out keys.

    Want a key? Here: R3WQ-3K6W-GF3Q-7PW9-DHR9
    "to be neutral, to be passive in a situation is to collaborate with whatever is going on." - Howard Zinn


    ...This is some music I made...

    Little boxes on the hillside, / Little boxes made of ticky-tacky,
    Little boxes on the hillside...
    Little boxes, all the same...

    Milambit23/Lykos23/Milambit - That guy what once roamed the Trove Creations Subreddit
    kak Быль Брat

  10.   This is the last Trove Team post in this thread.   #10
    Developers Atronos's Avatar
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    Eldar Skrulls sounds terrifying >.>

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